


Astigmatism

by Queroze



Series: the Boys have feelings one-shots [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Contacts, Eyes, Glasses, Insecure Logic | Logan Sanders, Light Angst, Logan Needs A Hug, Logan thinks alot, Logic | Logan Sanders is Bad at Feelings, Logic | Logan Sanders-centric, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-13 23:15:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21005765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queroze/pseuds/Queroze
Summary: Logan takes a break to think about his glasses





	Astigmatism

Logan's eyes hurt. He slipped off his glasses and rubbed his eyelids with his knuckles.

_Hypothesis: Eye strain. Conclusion: I should take a break._

He put his glasses back on and looked down at the schedule he was working on for Thomas. The thin neat lines were fuzzy in his vision. Logan closed his eyes and sighed. He had been working on this for a couple of hours now. _Studies have shown that_ _it is important to take regular breaks to keep productivity up._

Logan stood up from his desk and stretched, hearing the cracks as his spine realigned. He glanced over to his bed wistfully. Shrugging, he lay down on his back then closed his eyes, feeling his glasses press into the bridge of his nose; the plastic arms touch his temples. He opened his eyes and tried to focus on the lenses themselves, crossing his eyes. 

_I have astigmatism._

He wasn’t sure why it troubled him so much. A statistically large percentage of people who needed glasses had astigmatism. It was very common. If fact it was more strange to need glasses and not to have an astigmatism.

_Patton doesn’t have astigmatism. He is a statistical anomaly. His eyes are fine for seeing far. He only needs his glasses up close._

Logan took his glasses off. He turned them around so they faced him. He squinted at the blank stare of the lenses.

_Noun: astigmatism_

_a defect in the eye or in a lens caused by a deviation from spherical curvature, which results in distorted images, as light rays are prevented from meeting at a common focus_.

_Or to break down the word: a-‘without’ + stigma ‘point’ + -ism_

_Without point._

Logan folded the arms of the glasses and put them down carefully on his bedside table. He closed his eyes again.

_To correct for astigmatism a prescription must be made to incorporate an axis, to counteract an eyes natural deviation. Essentially light must be bent to accommodate an axis that is off in my eyes._

_My brain has astigmatism._

Logan knew it was true as soon at the thought popped into his head. How often had he had to translate his thoughts to everyone around him? His own thoughts that made perfect sense to him. His brain was just on a different axis then everyone else’s. That had to be it. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. He felt as the skin was smoother in the spots his frames pressed. 

_That’s why I have to find different ways of explaining what I mean to everyone else. And that includes Thomas. My cognitive ability is on an incomprehensible axis. My thoughts do not align with anyone else. I must verbally correct the angle at which I think. _

Logan glanced over at his glasses, blurred black and brown on the table. He flipped over on his stomach and buried his face into his pillow.

_Virgil does this all the time. He never has to think about eyewear to stop him._

Logan switched positions again. On his back again, this time his head hanging off of the edge of the bed so that the world was upside down.

_Roman does this to help inspire him. He never has to worry that his glasses will fall._

Finally Logan lay on his side, head resting on his pillow. 

_Patton often takes off his glasses at the end of a movie night, then doze off. He can still see the TV when he falls asleep._

Restless, Logan went back to his original position on his back, eyes pointed at the ceiling. He put an open hand in front of his face. He was less blurry if it was just a near millimeters in front of his eyes, but not compliantly clear.

_Astigmatism._

He wasn’t sure why it bothered him so much.

_Without point. _

It really shouldn’t bother him.

_An axis that needs correcting._

He sat up on the bed and glanced at where his glasses sat on the bedside table.

_ ...prevented from meeting at a common focus._

What if he didn’t wear his glasses? Standing up he knew it was impossible to fix his eyes, but what if he didn’t have to wear them? He walked to the dresser across the room. In the drawer was a small box. In that box were 3 sets of contacts. Patton had requested trying contacts at one point in the past as a whim. Roman had taken one look at Patton eyewear and created a contact lens prescription to match. And since Logan was just sitting there at the time, Roman had just done the same for him. He hadn’t given the little box a second thought since Roman’s casual toss.

But now he was thinking about it. How hard could it be? A substantial segment of the population wore contacts. He grabbed his glasses and brought up a YouTube video on how to put in contacts. A young woman in a white lab coat first went over different safety percussions. She warned against costume contacts, and only wearing contacts prescribed by a doctor.

_Does a Prince who is creating contacts for a metaphysical being count as a doctor?_

He continued to watch the video as the kind looking woman explained she was going to teach 3 different patients how to insert and extract contacts from their own eyes. Logan watched as a child walked into the softly lit white room. There was a large mirror behind a counter. The lab coated female instructed the child to wash their hands and to be sure everything was ready.

Logan looked at his desk. _I am not ready_. He grabbed a box of Kleenex, contact lens solution, and contact lens holder. Now all he needed was a mirror. He looked around thoughtfully. A mirror was not something he kept in his room. Opening the door to the hallway and poked his head out. Across the way Roman’s door was open, his room unoccupied. Peering around his door stretching his neck he looked toward Roman’s vanity. There was a large mirror attached to the vanity itself, but there was also a smaller portable light up mirror that had a magnification side.

Logan tiptoed across the hall and sneaked into Roman’s room. He unplugged the mirror and made a dash back into his own quarters. Closing the door behind him he confidently strode to his own desk and plugged in the mirror. He sat to move the angle of the mirror so that he could shed his own eyes behind his glasses.

Logan nodded to himself. _Now I am ready. _He pressed play on the video.

The woman was now teaching the child how to hold their eye lids open and to place the contact lens on their eyeball. The child was able to do it on his second try.

Logan stopped the video and put some solution into his contact lens holder. He opened the first contact and took off his glasses.

_Why is it a good idea to poke my own eyeball without the benefit of seeing? _He sighed.

Turning the contact inside out as the lady in the video had instructed, he slowly brought the contact to his eye. He carefully tried to place the lens on to his eyeball.

*Blink*

And his eyelids prevented that from happening. Undeterred he tried again. And again. And again.

Eyes damp from unintended tears, and lids a little red from being touched he leaned back unsuccessful. Maybe the next part of the video would more of more use.

Logan pressed play. After the child left an older gentleman walked in. Logan estimated that he was in his mid 30’s. The tolerant woman went over the same routine of washing hands and laying everything out. This time though the gentleman attempting to put contacts in was having a hard time. The woman’s instructions where encouraging, but never changed into rushing. After about 15 minutes of trying the man in the video was able to get his first contact in. The man in the video looked so proud.

“Now we teach you how to get them out!” the lady said brightly.

Logan hadn’t thought of that part. He would have to take them out. Resolve waning he continued to watch. He saw the man’s face fall, reflecting his own feelings. But taking them out seemed to be easier. Once he got the hang of it, the man was able to put both contacts in and leave the room.

Logan pressed pause on the video. There had been a few different angles he wanted to try that were just taught.

Inside out lens, fingertip coming toward the eye ball, holding eye lids open wide, look up to expose the white and just touch….

*BLINK*

The contact landed on his cheek.

He tried again, holding his eye lids from a different direction.

*BLINK*

And again..

*BLINK* *BLINK* *BLINK* *BLINK**BLINK*

Logan’s eyes were very red. He couldn’t do much more of this.

He pressed play on the video. This time is was a young woman with very long nails. The lady in the lab coat with thru the same hand washing and prep as she had done twice before. This time most of the new tips Logan picked up on had to do with dealing with contacts when one had long nails. Bored he leaned back into his desk chair starring at the blurry ceiling.

He heard the lady in the video talk in a difference cadence. Not careful instruction, but more directed at the viewer. Logan tuned in to what she was saying, not moving in his eyes from their ceiling resting place.

“I know trying contacts for the first time can be tough. But if you wish to keep trying I suggest trying in short sessions to not strain your eyes. Come back later if it doesn’t seem to be working right now. Or if you’re like me…”

There was silence in the video for a moment. Logan looked at the screen. It was blurry. He shook his head and hastily put his glasses back on.

The lady in the lab coat had a pair of Simi-rimless purple glasses she hadn’t had on before. “Just wear your glasses. I have never failed to teach someone how to insert and extract contacts before. But, for the life of me I have never successfully done it myself. My blink reflex is too strong I suppose. I guess I know all the tricks because I have tried them all myself. But that’s ok! Sometimes all one can do is teach!” She smiled cheerfully and the video ended.

“Sometimes all once can do is teach?” Logan whispered to himself. He looked down at the mess in front of him, bits of foil and tissue and drops of solution littered his desk. 

_Astigmatism._

_Strong blink reflex. _

Logan looked at his reflection.

_Brain astigmatism_. 

_I always have to translate what I am thinking so people understand. But that everyday exercise makes it so that I can teach anyone easily. I have had a lot of practice. _

Logan picked up his rubbish bin and slid the whole contact lens clutter into it. He placed the bin down with a clang. 

Maybe it wasn’t so bad having glasses after all. 


End file.
